And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
