are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
