ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
