If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
