you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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