4 words: hood of his car
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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