people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
