he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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