Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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