Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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