The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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