Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
