You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
