Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
