I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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