i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
