Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
