omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
