bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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