new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
