There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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