It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
