Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
