i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
