he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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