Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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