If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
