you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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