You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
