dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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