just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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