Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
