Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
