Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I enjoy the company of your penis
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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