so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
