No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
