just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
