I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
