Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
