I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
