my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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