Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
