who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
