I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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