maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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