Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
