so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
