Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
