They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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