yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
