I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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